


falling

by cherryjaem



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: 2020 fic challenge: april, Exes, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-31
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:08:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23418751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherryjaem/pseuds/cherryjaem
Summary: It's a lot harder to do this in real life, hard to look at Hyunjin and not feel anything.
Relationships: Hwang Hyunjin & Kim Seungmin
Comments: 6
Kudos: 48





	falling

It was bound to happen.

It comes at the price of sharing the same circle of friends. Seungmin knows he can't avoid Hyunjin forever, but it just sucks that even 2 years after their breakup, Hyunjin still affects him in ways Seungmin didn't know he could. Seungmin knows he shouldn't be avoiding Hyunjin  _ anymore,  _ but here he is hiding in Jeongin's room anyway, away from the welcome back party the group is throwing for Hyunjin.

It's not that Seungmin completely cut off relations and communication with Hyunjin when they broke up; it's definitely far from that. They're still in the same group chat because they have the same friends after all, still engage in the group talk, reply to each other in the chat and on other SNS accounts, but somehow, it's a lot harder to do this in real life, hard to look at Hyunjin and  _ not  _ feel anything.

With a shaky breath, Seungmin closes his eyes and leans back against the mattress of Jeongin's bed. His mind wanders off to places he shouldn't be allowing it to, but it's hard to stop once he's started. He's remembering what it's like to be held by Hyunjin, how it's like to be kissed by him. He's remembering Hyunjin's pretty smile reserved only for Seungmin, remembering Hyunjin's laugh and how it never failed to brighten up Seungmin's whole day. Talking to Hyunjin used to be the highlight of his day, falling asleep listening to Hyunjin's voice used to be a nightly routine but it all ended abruptly when they ended their relationship.

Seungmin doesn't remember how things fell apart, or why they broke up in the first place. He doesn't know how they managed to remain civil with each other these past 2 years, but then again, it's probably for the sake of their friends.

Seungmin exhales heavily. He knows he should be out with his friends,  _ wants  _ to stop thinking and feeling too much. But…

"Hey," a soft voice breaks the silence of the room. Seungmin tenses hearing the voice because he knows to whom it belongs. Seungmin refuses to open his eyes. Instead, he's clasping his hands together tightly to ground himself. "Seungmin, are you okay?" the voice is closer now. Seungmin feels and hears his heart beating fast.

"Yeah," Seungmin manages to answer somehow.

"Okay," Hyunjin replies. There's a tinge of worry and confusion in his voice. "We're eating soon."

"Okay. Give me another minute." It's silent again after that. Seungmin had been so sure Hyunjin's left but he's surprised when he hears him say: "Can I join you?"

The answer should have been no. Seungmin should have sat up and left. He  _ could have _ said no and spared himself from all the longing and heartache but here he is again making all the wrong decisions. "Sure."

Hyunjin climbs up the bed and lays down next to Seungmin so carefully. It's a single bed so of course their shoulders would be touching. Seungmin should have known this but he lets it happen anyway because Hyunjin's presence is warm and familiar next to him, and Seungmin had missed it, had missed Hyunjin even though he'd been refusing to admit it to himself for the past couple of years. Hyunjin smells like comfort, smells like home Seungmin hadn't been back to in a while, smells like the past Seungmin can't go back to anymore.

"I missed you," Hyunjin says. Seungmin opens his eyes and turns his head to the side to look at Hyunjin, only to see Hyunjin's eyes are already on him. A wave of memories flashes in Seungmin's head when their gazes locked, memories of them together that Seungmin doesn't want to remember because he knows he can't have those things with Hyunjin anymore.

2 years. It took Seungmin 2 years to convince himself he's okay, 2 years to make (very little) progress from their breakup, 2 years to stitch the broken pieces of his heart together and yet, it only takes 3 words and 2 mere seconds for his wounds to start bleeding, and the next thing Seungmin knows, he's falling again.


End file.
